“I wish I had a coach when I was a principal.” I hear this statement often when working with people who are coaching principals. They recognize the value of having a coach, but not all leaders feel this way. If you work with someone in the “no coaching wanted or needed” camp, then it will be helpful to recognize that, for some people, being coached is risky business for psychological, cultural, or practical reasons. Understanding these reasons can help you build relationships that enable coachees to see coaching as worth the risks.
Reasons for Rejecting Coaching
In sports, no one considers having a coach a sign of weakness. Players view the coach as someone who can help them develop and refine their skills and provide motivation and support. Having a coach is viewed positively. The same is not always true in schools. From a psychological standpoint, leaders might think that being coached signals that they aren’t up to the job requirements, can’t solve their own problems, or aren’t a good leader. They might be insecure about their knowledge and skills and feel that sharing their insecurities makes them too psychologically vulnerable.
If the district culture does not embody a focus on learning for everyone in the system, coaching might be viewed as a punishment or “corrective action” rather than as a necessary feature of a learning organization and support for growth. If there is a lack of trust in the school or district, leaders might wonder about the “true” purpose of coaching—is their job on the line, are they being punished, does the district lack confidence in them? Likewise, leaders might reject coaching if they believe the coach is not trustworthy or are skeptical about the benefits of coaching.
From a practical standpoint, leaders might worry that being coached will take too much time from their other responsibilities, and engaging in coaching might mean something else doesn’t get done.
Minimizing the Risks of Being Coached
Attitude is everything! When coaches convey their genuine excitement about the opportunity to coach someone, they reduce coachees’ sense of risk. Likewise, when coaches consider coachees as learners on a learning journey rather than as people who are a problem or who have a problem, they counteract coachees’ fears about being seen as deficient or weak performers. As one of my colleagues says, “People want to be coached by someone who sees them as awesome!”
The unknown can be daunting. When coaches work with leaders to share information about the purpose and process of coaching, they clear up confusion that leads to fear of being coached. They also help establish coaching as a “normal” part of the organization’s culture. This makes it less likely that coachees will feel they are being singled out for attention that will be seen as unusual or negative.
Coaches can provide additional clarity and assurance about the coaching process by establishing a social contract with coachees that defines the coaching relationship. The contracting conversation creates space for:
- Coaches to ask questions about coachees’ experiences with coaching and their concerns about it.
- The coach and coachee to explain what they want from the relationship and what the other person can expect from them, making the coaching process seem less intimidating.
- The coach to focus on the coachee’s strengths, prior accomplishments, and goals for the year to help reduce any coachee resistance, defensiveness, or perceived loss of control or status.
- The coach to approach the coachee as a learner and convey that the coach is also a learner, which helps provide the coachee with a sense of agency and autonomy.
To overcome the coachee’s sense that coaching is a distraction or a waste of time, coaches need to focus each coaching session on work that matters to the coachee—work that they need to accomplish to improve teaching and learning. To keep the focus on important work, coaches can help coachees develop a short-term goal and a plan for reaching it. During each coaching session, the coach asks thought-provoking questions that help the coachee reflect on progress with the plan, what learning has occurred, and what to do next. Accomplishing goals, and learning more about themselves in the process, helps coachees see coaching as a meaningful and beneficial experience.
Life is full of risks, but being coached doesn’t need to be one of them if coaches recognize the lens through which coachees view coaching. Coaches can alleviate psychological, cultural, and practical risks by listening attentively, being open and honest, asking thought-provoking questions, demonstrating they have coachee’s best interests in mind, and following through on the agreements made with coachees.
Looking for a tool to support your next conversation with an apprehensive coachee? We’ve compiled a resource with reasons a coachee might see coaching as risky and ways coaches can respond to reduce the sense of risk.
Check out our School Improvement page for additional resources and support!
